Monday, November 17, 2014

Why I'm Flipping the Script

November is National Adoption Month. During this month, America recites the standard script that we've been given about adoption. It's the responsibility of the adoption community to support adoption for unwed mothers who are unprepared for parenting. We're meant to celebrate the love of the adoptive family and the miracle that allows childless couples to bring an infant or child into their lives. We are intended to do whatever is necessary to support the adoption industry so that we can continue to get children adopted.

Whoops. Did I say "industry?" That's right! I did. The word is apropos. If you didn't know that adoption -- human trafficking -- is an "industry" in the United States, then you've been hiding under a rock. You know those fundraisers that you see to help families to adopt a baby from a foreign country? They are an indication that money is being exchanged for a child, making adoption a multi-billion dollar a year industry in the US.

Before I continue with this post, let me say one thing quickly. My mother (that is to say, my first mother) wasn't the victim of an adoption agency. My mother (that is to say, my adoptive mother) didn't pay for me through an adoption agency. I was adopted through Catholic Charities in 1979, six weeks after my birth (the interim time was spent in a foster home).

I'm not doing this (speaking out to flipthescript) to get revenge on a system that traded me for profit. 

Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to share with you what is Flip the Script.

I'm speaking out this month because a first mother I know (who is fast becoming a very dear friend), encouraged me to make my voice heard. This month, I'm speaking out because every time I've tried to be heard in the past, I'm told that I should stop because I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. Or, worse, that I'm "discouraging adoption." Although I'm late to the party, I'm speaking up (now) because I've had people "unfriend" me on Facebook because they disagree with me so strongly that the natural family is not to be preserved if possible.

Most of all, I'm speaking out because I'm not anti-adoption, and am getting tired of being told that adoptees who talk about their experience of adoption are trying to discourage adoption. I'm speaking out because it's about time that somebody stopped, sat up, and listened to what our experiences are. I'm speaking out because the more voices we have, the more of us adult adoptees who share our experiences this month, the more likely it is that people will actually listen to us.

Photo from RumpleTeaser via Flickr

In other words, I'm adding my voice to the hundreds of others who have contributed to helping Flip the Script on the adoption narrative. 

My story is coming. I welcome new followers.

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